Regarding Recent Problems and Concerns
Bryce Newhart

Dear Sleep Workers of 136A:

In reference to long awkward silences and the bearded man in soiled pajamas who enjoys creating them by standing extremely close to primarily female nap coordinators and assistants waiting for the copier, elevator, or coffee machine. If you are reading this, please return to your bed. Through no fault of a sleeper's own, what begins with mild mouth breathing and a slight facial tic can easily turn into assault. Just last week, for example, my wife was picked up at the petting zoo. They found her in a state of extreme agitation. Somehow in the middle of a deep snore she had dreamed her way over the fence and straight into an active mammal den. In other words, it's all fun and games until a living creature gets his snout chewed off. Know what I'm saying?

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